The Unexpected Downside of Repatriation

By Heather Markel

Repatriation is a subject that is getting increased attention. Many people that are faced with repatriating to either their home country, or the one they have lived in the longest, assume that this transition will be easy. After all, you know the language, the country, your friends and family will be there.

The truth is just the opposite. While you have been away, you have gone through changes. The place you’re returning to has also changed – perhaps different stores, different people, etc. Failure to understand this typically leads to a shock worse than the one you experience when expatriating. Again, the assumption that you’ll easily fit in will be deeply challenged, which could quickly lead to depression.

Beyond the aspects of packing, moving, and logistics, here are a few tips of what to prepare for during the repatriating experience -

1. Home may no longer feel like home. Now that you’ve been living in another culture, you have inevitably adapted to it. This means you may have altered your perception on cultural, political, or social issues. You may have developed new habits, or be used to speaking a new language. Perhaps you have been eating dramatically different foods, and discussions have revolved around different topics. So, when you arrive home, and you try to connect with your friends and family there, you will most likely feel an uncomfortable distance as you readjust to being back.

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Bless Them, the Celebrity Style

By Halima Khan, Asst Editor

Everyone knows somebody who just can’t get enough of celebrity news, celerity gossip, celebrity on goings, celebrity this celebrity that. Somebody who is constantly ranting about Brangelina, JLo like they are all that matter in this world. They consider these celebrities to be in the same social circle as they that is how bad they obsess over them, well for people like this here are gift ideas that they will go googoogaagaa over.

Find out the celebrity that your friend is most crazy about and get her a relevant autograph. Wondering how are you then Ebay is your answer. Spend a little time looking and you will find it.

Another idea is a collection of DVDs of her favorite movies with her favorite stars; it can be favorite music collection too. You know your friend best so improvise some if you need to.

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Working Overseas: More Than a Change in Geography

By Heather Markel

When you relocate for the purpose of a new job, especially if it’s overseas, adapting to your new workplace is an additional challenge you need to prepare for.

If you’re going to continue to work for the same company, the adjustment could be even harder because you may expect the new job to be just like the old one. It’s very easy to start a new job with the expectation and hope that you’ll fit in perfectly, be well-respected because your great reputation from your current department will precede you, and that hard work will help you get a promotion within a defined period of time. It’s also easy to assume that everything you’re doing now will be treated with the same respect when you start your job overseas.

The reality, however, is that when you move abroad for work, you need to be ready for a complete mental and cultural shift. What helped you advance to this point in your career may not work in your new office. In fact, trying to work and behave in the same manner could quickly leave you isolated by your peers, and insulting your management. In addition, if you don’t make the effort to learn the local language, should it be different than your native one, you risk the possibility of never truly adapting or fitting in at your new job. It’s very easy to sabotage your work experience by failing to understand the differences to expect.

Here are a few ideas to help you prepare for your overseas work experience:

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7 Ways to Volunteer Without Leaving Your House

By Maryanne Curran

With more and more demands on your time, volunteering is quickly becoming a four-letter word. But in these strained economic times, community organizations and causes need more help than ever before.

There’s a way you can volunteer for many worthwhile charities – without leaving the comfort of your own home. It’s called virtual volunteering.

With virtual volunteering, you can perform a variety of volunteer tasks on your own time schedule – sometimes completing them while you’re watching television. Here are seven great suggestions for virtual volunteering.

Casting on for a cause
If you’re one of the millions of people in the U.S. who like to knit or crochet, there are many organizations that welcome your donations of hand-made blankets, hats, sweaters, etc. Many of these groups even supply free patterns to get you started and are easy to follow even for novice knitters.

Project Linus provides blankets, afghans, and quilts to children who are ill (www.projectlinus.org). Named after the “Peanuts” character who always carries a security blanket, Project Linus has chapter offices in all 50 states.

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Quieting Your Inner Critic

By Tara Mohr

The inner critic is that chattering voice of fear, worry, and self-critique in your head. It’s the voice worried about what other people are thinking, that argues you are likely embarrass yourself or make a big mistake. It’s the voice proclaims you aren’t qualified to pursue your big dreams.

We can’t ever get rid of the inner critic, but we can get smart about recognizing and managing it. If you do that, you don’t have to walk through life believing what it says and leading your life according to its stories.

The Good News About the Inner Critic

Think of your inner critic as a guard or gatekeeper, attempting to keep you inside the small zone of the status quo. As long as you don’t try to venture out of that zone, the inner critic can leave you alone. But when you approach the gate, when you begin to leave the status quo, you wake the sleeping guard.

In one sense, then, there is always good news when the inner critic shows up: you are approaching real change and movement! The louder and meaner and more hysterical its voice, the closer you are to a breakthrough or important step in your life.

Recognizing the Inner Critic

Here is good news story number two: You don’t have to do all that much with your inner critic. Just recognizing the inner critic goes a long way to reducing its impact.

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Give a Valentine from the Heart to the Elderly

By Laura Elizabeth

It is a fact that 65% of older adults who are alone become depressed on a regular basis. 87% of all older people who live alone experience loneliness everyday and on Valentines Day there is not a doubt that it raises to 98%.

Division of Aging and Adult Services say that people who are 80 and older live in their own homes and by age 85 nearly 50% of them live alone. What the statistics don’t tell us is how well these old people are doing.

There are seniors without families nearby and many seniors without any family at all. Even if family members are close by and diligent about helping a parent, bringing dinner over, mowing the lawn or house cleaning every week, that parent probably spends 90 percent of each day alone and maybe lonely.

Before this Valentines Day, take a look around your neighborhood and see if you can find the elderly. It’s not hard to notice that someone is not getting around easily, never leaves their home or alone most of the time. There are a number of ways you can help by volunteering your time to help them in their situation.

Make them a meal and take it to them, stop by and offer to mow their lawn, do yard work or do some light cleaning. Stop by and introduce yourself and spark a conversation with them. You would be shocked at how quickly they will go into stories of the past which can be very interesting.

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Prepare to Be Happy This Year

by Heather Markel

January is often the time we set goals, make resolutions, and determine what we’ll do differently or better. So, after attending a recent meditation evening, I was profoundly struck by a deceptively simple question:

“What do you do that makes you happy?”

On the surface, I might say, “I find great ways to meet new people, I travel, I reach lots of people with my blog,” and a host of other activities. But the question is really much deeper.

We spoke about our natural tendency as human beings to wake up each day and hope our day goes well. We might think things like, “I hope this year is better than last year” “I hope I get a job” ”I hope the boss is nicer to me today.” “I hope I don’t have to do that stupid report today.” If you’re homesick, or suffering from relocation depression, you might be thinking, “I hope I can find something interesting to do today.” “I hope I can leave this awful place soon.” “I hope someone will become my friend today.”

Do those thoughts make you happy?

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How to Avoid Holiday Depression After Relocating

With the holiday season upon us, I know many expats will be far from home. This is a time when it’s all too easy to get caught up in missing your friends and family back home, and wishing you were with them, leading to possible bouts of depression. Especially if you are in a country that doesn’t celebrate a holiday that is traditional for your country, such as Thanksgiving. It can be even harder to find that life continues as normal on a day you’re used to sharing with your family. And, don’t forget the weather! If home is a place where winter is snowy and cold, and you’re someplace in the Southern Hemisphere, then it’s going to feel really strange to find people swimming and walking around in t-shirts, which can make home feel even further away.

However, you also have the choice to see this as a time of discovery, welcoming in new traditions. I have spent Thanksgiving in Paris twice, once with a fellow expat who cooked us a lovely dinner, and another time with friends, dining at a restaurant that had a special Thanksgiving menu. Actually, the restaurant experience was one of those prix-fixe menus with a leg of Turkey that resembled duck confit, and a very French-ified version of mashed potatoes, etc. It was like gourmet gone wrong. (Really, is there a way to make roasted/fried turkey gourmet?) The wine, of course, was great, and so my friends and I enjoyed each other’s company, and had a good laugh at the meal. Of course, it was wonderful, for us, to be with each other, and we were grateful that a country that doesn’t even celebrate this holiday, gave us a way to honor it by combining our tradition with theirs.

I’ve also spent Christmas in Normandie, where we ate Oysters instead of the meat, or turkey and potatoes I’m accustomed to at this time of year. Though I wasn’t with my family, I bonded with others over wine and oysters till the wee hours, sharing discussion, laughter and fun.

What I find is most important is making sure to celebrate the occasions, and to honor them with good friends.

Here are a few ideas for you to consider during the holiday season:

1. If you can’t go home, see if home can come to you! Invite your friends and family to visit you.

2. Reach out to neighbors, colleagues, and new friends, and ask the ones you’re closest to if you can spend any of the holiday season together.

3. If you feel you don’t know anyone well enough yet, then look for other expats in your area. If, for example, you’re an American living in Peru, see what other expats are there using something like Facebook or Google, doing a search for expats near where you live.

4. If you can’t find anyone to spend the holiday with, see if any restaurants or community organizations might be holding a holiday dinner. This way, you can at least be surrounded by people, rather than alone.

5. Now is a great time to make new friends! Take full advantage of every method possible to meet new people.

6. Host a dinner at your place for the holidays and invite your new and old friends over to enjoy the time together.

© 2009. This article was excerpted with permission from Heather Markel. All reprints must state, “Reprinted with permission by Heather Markel from www.culturetransition.com. Originally published in www.WomensOnlineMagazine.com, December 2009”.

About the Author:
Heather Markel is a Culture Transition Specialist. Heather works with relocating professionals and their families to manage and overcome the unique set of personal, professional, and social issues that arise following relocation to a new city and/or country. Heather has lived, worked and studied in four countries, and two US States. She speaks six languages. She loves traveling and discovering new friends, and new places. To learn more about “The Relocation Success System” and other ways to successfully adapt after relocating, visit www.howtofeelathomeawayfromhome.com

DISCLAIMER: The information and opinions reflected in this article are solely those of the author and do not reflect on the publisher, editor, or editorial staff of Women’s Online Magazine. This article has been written and reviewed by the author. Any errors should be brought to the attention of the author.