The Unexpected Downside of Repatriation

By Heather Markel

Repatriation is a subject that is getting increased attention. Many people that are faced with repatriating to either their home country, or the one they have lived in the longest, assume that this transition will be easy. After all, you know the language, the country, your friends and family will be there.

The truth is just the opposite. While you have been away, you have gone through changes. The place you’re returning to has also changed – perhaps different stores, different people, etc. Failure to understand this typically leads to a shock worse than the one you experience when expatriating. Again, the assumption that you’ll easily fit in will be deeply challenged, which could quickly lead to depression.

Beyond the aspects of packing, moving, and logistics, here are a few tips of what to prepare for during the repatriating experience -

1. Home may no longer feel like home. Now that you’ve been living in another culture, you have inevitably adapted to it. This means you may have altered your perception on cultural, political, or social issues. You may have developed new habits, or be used to speaking a new language. Perhaps you have been eating dramatically different foods, and discussions have revolved around different topics. So, when you arrive home, and you try to connect with your friends and family there, you will most likely feel an uncomfortable distance as you readjust to being back.

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Working Overseas: More Than a Change in Geography

By Heather Markel

When you relocate for the purpose of a new job, especially if it’s overseas, adapting to your new workplace is an additional challenge you need to prepare for.

If you’re going to continue to work for the same company, the adjustment could be even harder because you may expect the new job to be just like the old one. It’s very easy to start a new job with the expectation and hope that you’ll fit in perfectly, be well-respected because your great reputation from your current department will precede you, and that hard work will help you get a promotion within a defined period of time. It’s also easy to assume that everything you’re doing now will be treated with the same respect when you start your job overseas.

The reality, however, is that when you move abroad for work, you need to be ready for a complete mental and cultural shift. What helped you advance to this point in your career may not work in your new office. In fact, trying to work and behave in the same manner could quickly leave you isolated by your peers, and insulting your management. In addition, if you don’t make the effort to learn the local language, should it be different than your native one, you risk the possibility of never truly adapting or fitting in at your new job. It’s very easy to sabotage your work experience by failing to understand the differences to expect.

Here are a few ideas to help you prepare for your overseas work experience:

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Prepare to Be Happy This Year

by Heather Markel

January is often the time we set goals, make resolutions, and determine what we’ll do differently or better. So, after attending a recent meditation evening, I was profoundly struck by a deceptively simple question:

“What do you do that makes you happy?”

On the surface, I might say, “I find great ways to meet new people, I travel, I reach lots of people with my blog,” and a host of other activities. But the question is really much deeper.

We spoke about our natural tendency as human beings to wake up each day and hope our day goes well. We might think things like, “I hope this year is better than last year” “I hope I get a job” ”I hope the boss is nicer to me today.” “I hope I don’t have to do that stupid report today.” If you’re homesick, or suffering from relocation depression, you might be thinking, “I hope I can find something interesting to do today.” “I hope I can leave this awful place soon.” “I hope someone will become my friend today.”

Do those thoughts make you happy?

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How to Avoid Holiday Depression After Relocating

With the holiday season upon us, I know many expats will be far from home. This is a time when it’s all too easy to get caught up in missing your friends and family back home, and wishing you were with them, leading to possible bouts of depression. Especially if you are in a country that doesn’t celebrate a holiday that is traditional for your country, such as Thanksgiving. It can be even harder to find that life continues as normal on a day you’re used to sharing with your family. And, don’t forget the weather! If home is a place where winter is snowy and cold, and you’re someplace in the Southern Hemisphere, then it’s going to feel really strange to find people swimming and walking around in t-shirts, which can make home feel even further away.

However, you also have the choice to see this as a time of discovery, welcoming in new traditions. I have spent Thanksgiving in Paris twice, once with a fellow expat who cooked us a lovely dinner, and another time with friends, dining at a restaurant that had a special Thanksgiving menu. Actually, the restaurant experience was one of those prix-fixe menus with a leg of Turkey that resembled duck confit, and a very French-ified version of mashed potatoes, etc. It was like gourmet gone wrong. (Really, is there a way to make roasted/fried turkey gourmet?) The wine, of course, was great, and so my friends and I enjoyed each other’s company, and had a good laugh at the meal. Of course, it was wonderful, for us, to be with each other, and we were grateful that a country that doesn’t even celebrate this holiday, gave us a way to honor it by combining our tradition with theirs.

I’ve also spent Christmas in Normandie, where we ate Oysters instead of the meat, or turkey and potatoes I’m accustomed to at this time of year. Though I wasn’t with my family, I bonded with others over wine and oysters till the wee hours, sharing discussion, laughter and fun.

What I find is most important is making sure to celebrate the occasions, and to honor them with good friends.

Here are a few ideas for you to consider during the holiday season:

1. If you can’t go home, see if home can come to you! Invite your friends and family to visit you.

2. Reach out to neighbors, colleagues, and new friends, and ask the ones you’re closest to if you can spend any of the holiday season together.

3. If you feel you don’t know anyone well enough yet, then look for other expats in your area. If, for example, you’re an American living in Peru, see what other expats are there using something like Facebook or Google, doing a search for expats near where you live.

4. If you can’t find anyone to spend the holiday with, see if any restaurants or community organizations might be holding a holiday dinner. This way, you can at least be surrounded by people, rather than alone.

5. Now is a great time to make new friends! Take full advantage of every method possible to meet new people.

6. Host a dinner at your place for the holidays and invite your new and old friends over to enjoy the time together.

© 2009. This article was excerpted with permission from Heather Markel. All reprints must state, “Reprinted with permission by Heather Markel from www.culturetransition.com. Originally published in www.WomensOnlineMagazine.com, December 2009”.

About the Author:
Heather Markel is a Culture Transition Specialist. Heather works with relocating professionals and their families to manage and overcome the unique set of personal, professional, and social issues that arise following relocation to a new city and/or country. Heather has lived, worked and studied in four countries, and two US States. She speaks six languages. She loves traveling and discovering new friends, and new places. To learn more about “The Relocation Success System” and other ways to successfully adapt after relocating, visit www.howtofeelathomeawayfromhome.com

DISCLAIMER: The information and opinions reflected in this article are solely those of the author and do not reflect on the publisher, editor, or editorial staff of Women’s Online Magazine. This article has been written and reviewed by the author. Any errors should be brought to the attention of the author.

Relocation 101: How to Beat Boredom

One of the challenges that can occur after relocating is figuring out what activities are available, and how to go about finding them. It’s very easy to find yourself bored, and at a loss when trying to figure out what there is to do in a new place. And, if you’ve moved with your family, this exercise can be even more challenging and frustrating if you feel responsible for everyone’s activities and have no idea where to begin looking.

Often times, though, finding new and enjoyable activities can be as simple as exploring a place you haven’t before, and then asking.
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How to Overcome Resentment When You’re Forced to Relocate

In today’s economy, there are a lot of individuals that are forced to move to a new city, or even a new country. Often times, it’s a matter of moving where the work is. Other times, you may be following someone you love, making your own personal sacrifices to do so.

Relocating can be difficult or easy - depending upon whether you’re moving happily or you’re moving against your will. If you’re moving to follow a dream, you might feel excited. However, if you’re moving against your will, or sacrificing a lot to make the move, it can be easy to feel resentful, stubborn and unwilling for change to happen.
Unfortunately, staying stuck in this resentment, and continuing to be stubborn will actually backfire. It will quickly lead you to see only negatives about your life. You’ll hate where you’re living, be angry with those around you, push away loved ones and, ultimately, become completely isolated, homesick, and maybe even depressed. So, what should you do if you are being forced to move against your will, or if you’ve already relocated and are stuck in resentment?
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Moving Day - Five Tips to Make it Easier

The process of moving is usually overwhelming, no matter how far you’re going. There’s the loss of the familiar, trying to pack everything, hoping nothing breaks, hoping everything arrives, and trying to throw out all the unnecessary items. And on top of all this, you’ll want to see friends, family, and might even be working a full or part-time job.

It’s no wonder then that you might forget to plan for some of the immediate needs you’ll have both during, and right after, a move. Here are a few tips to help you ensure that you take these needs into account:

1 – Breakfast on moving day! Unless your movers are coming later in the day, and you plan to go out for breakfast (and bless you if you’re organized enough to be completely ready for the movers ahead of time!) you will need to leave out something to eat and drink for breakfast the day you move. As you pack up all your food items, keep this in mind.
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Climate Changes Impact Your Relocation

One of the things that might take you by surprise when you move to a new place is how much the weather and climate impact your happiness in that place.

Often times, this doesn’t sink in until several months after you’ve relocated – I remember being really excited to move from New York to Paris, thinking about how beautiful the city was to me, and being eager to walk and explore the city streets. One evening, on my way back home, plodding through wet streets with my umbrella held overhead, I became aggravated. I suddenly realized that Paris is often grey or raining, and this took away my eagerness to walk around the city. Without that desire, I began to question why I was living in a place that I couldn’t happily explore.
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