Body Language: Clues for Communication

Originally published on 11/26/2008 - 3:25 p.m. GMT

Shrugs, sighs, eye rolling, sneers, slumped shoulders, ignoring, mumbling are all gestures of non verbal communication. But then, so are smiles, winks, hugs, spontaneous eye contact and a relaxed stance. The problem with trying to read people, and especially your children, is that body language can have multiple meanings, depending on the culture, past experiences and willingness to share emotions and feelings.

One unconscious signal is open to interpretation. However, if the gestures occur in clusters or with similar clues, then it is usually interpreted by others as an attitude.

We attract or repel people with non verbal signals. When I researched and wrote The Left Out Child many of the children who had the most difficulty finding and maintaining friendships had trouble reading other’s body language. By just working on their own body signals, they appeared much more open and approachable to close relationships.

Here is a small list of body movements. Gestures that are “closed” mean that there is something standing in the way of honest sharing. “Open” gestures usually indicate a willingness to build and strengthen a relationship and comfort with the others in the group or discussion.

Closed and Resistant

• Arms folded to protect heart or stomach

• Shoulders bent forward

• Knees pulled up in fetal position

• Glancing at exit

• Rigid or the opposite fidgeting

• Locked ankles

• Hand wringing

• Rocking

• Staring or eyes closed

• Looking at floor

• Head lowered

• Locked ankles

• Hand wringing

• Rocking

• Staring or eyes closed

• Looking at floor

• Head lowered

Open and Affirming

• Palms up

• Open hands

• Spontaneous eye contact

• Feet apart, shoulders back

• Uncrossed legs

• Appropriate touching/patting

• Smile often/ laugh appropriately

• Affirmative head nods

• Respectful communication

• Body positioned towards other person

The most effective communication is a mutually respectful and mindful listening attitude on the part of all participants. By learning a few of the subconscious indicators along with the verbal information, we can form stronger relationships with family, friends and co-workers.

If you enjoyed this article, you will want to receive more information at: www.ArtichokePress.com which has a full listing of books, teleclasses and contact information for Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relations coach. www.AskAuntieArtichoke.com is the frequently updated blog on relationships and parenting. Please be a part of our community. You will be glad and so will we.

About the Author:
Judy H. Wright is a parent educator, author and a popular speaker and writer on family relations. She is also a personal and oral historian, international speaker and trainer. The author of over 20 books, she is fortunate to live in beautiful Montana but travels extensively working with organizations to build mutual respect and communication skills. Judy is a member of the Montana Speaker’s Network and the National Association of Women Writers. You will find free articles and a newsletter at www.artichokepress.com and can schedule a workshop by calling 406.549.9813 or emailing judy@artichokepress.com.

© 2008. This article was excerpted with permission from Judy H. Wright at www.artichokepress.com. Permission to reprint is granted by the author. All reprints must state, “Reprinted with permission by Judy H. Wright. Originally published in www.WomensOnlineMagazine.com, November 2008″.

DISCLAIMER: The information and opinions reflected in this article are solely those of the author and do not reflect on the publisher, editor, or editorial staff of Women’s Online Magazine. This article has been written and reviewed by the author. Any errors should be brought to the attention of the author.

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