Grandparents - A Reason to Let Go

When I was young, my grandparents lived right next door, and my friends’ grandparents were all within a fifteen to thirty minute drive from them. Visiting them in summer meant jumping in your car and driving five to thirty miles, then back later that day.

Today, things have changed. Many grandparents live in different states. Visiting now requires longer stays and extended travel time. No longer do my children walk down the path to their grandparents; they ride in a car for eight long hours. No longer do I cherish the few hours my kids are visiting but dread the two to four weeks they are away. Children need their grandparents and grandparents, in return, need their grandchildren. Grandparents have so much to teach and so much love to give, it is important to keep that relationship growing, and it is up to us, the parents, to do our part.

One way to keep the children close to their grandparents is of course by telephone. We have unlimited long distance, so the kids know they may call their father or grandparents anytime they wish and may talk as long as they want. This helps keep grandparents up to date on their grandchild’s lives.

Another great way for grandchildren with grandparents who are technically up to date is e-mail or social networks such as Facebook. My kids and my mom all have Facebook and it has been a great way for them to exchange pictures, ideas and just simple, “Hi I love and miss you” messages. With parental supervision, this is a fantastic way to keep closeness.

For grandparents who are computer illiterate, mailing pictures, letters and postcards are the way to go. My ex in-laws love it when my youngest two send them a quick note and a picture they drew or colored just for them. Having their refrigerator decorated with my children’s drawings let’s grandparents know they are loved and not forgotten.

Of course the best way to foster the closeness is the hardest for parents. Allowing for a two week to one month visit is tough. Letting go is the hardest thing I will do this summer. I want to know what they are doing, who they are with and know they are safe, but I must think of my children and their dad’s parents first. As hard as it is for parents, it is a bonding and memory making experience children need. My heart will break and life won’t be the same. My house will be too quiet. I will miss moments of fun, relaxation and excitement with my children, but I will know they are receiving love from family that is essential to their well-being.

As I am crying when they drive away, I will do my best to remember my own grandparents and how important they were and still are to me, cherish the memories I have made and wave good-bye knowing I am doing the right thing.

© 2009. This article was excerpted with permission from Tina Todorovich Toler. All reprints must state, “Reprinted with permission by Tina Todorovich Toler from www.tinatoler.bravehost.com. Originally published in www.WomensOnlineMagazine.com , June 2009”.

About the Author:
Tina Todorovich Toler is a substitute teacher. She lives at home with her fiancé, her four children ranging in age from 8 – 16, 3 dogs and 2 cats. As a divorced mother and having four children she shares the life of a parent and issues they often face hoping to help other parents through her writing.

Tina keeps busy with her children as well as writing a teen devotional book and a fictional novel.
She has recently been asked to join the staff of a girl’s faith based magazine as well as a contributor to Women’s Online Magazine. Her website can be found at www.tinatoler.bravehost.com.

DISCLAIMER: The information and opinions reflected in this article are solely those of the author and do not reflect on the publisher, editor, or editorial staff of Women’s Online Magazine. This article has been written and reviewed by the author. Any errors should be brought to the attention of the author.

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