Women's Online Magazine Los Angeles » Health & Fitness

Your Lifestyle and Your Money Style – What It All Means

Jules Hirst — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 23:52:28 +0000

The U.S. economy has been in a state of extreme flux for the past couple of years, which gives rise to anxiety, fear, and hopelessness. It’s highly likely that you know someone who has lost their job or their home, or both. You may have found yourself with fewer clients, involuntary furloughs, decreased benefits, working longer hours for less money, or facing the threat of lay-offs. Given the sustained nature of this economic downturn, it can be challenging to maintain optimism, derive joy from spending, or even make plans for the future. How are you relating to money nowadays? Is it different than the way in which you used to relate to it? Better, or worse?

If you’re a service provider, does the intangibility of your service make it harder to place an appropriate value on your service? If so, be clear about what you provide, so that value and meaning are always adequately defined. For many service providers, such as psychotherapists or consultants, it’s the service you provide, and not the outcome achieved, for which payment is provided. Remember that it may take a painter thousands of canvasses to reduce an idea to the merest squiggle – the squiggle that defines her style and sells for six or seven figures. What’s your squiggle worth (what is the value of your expertise)?

What is it about money that gets you so worked up about it? Are you perpetuating myths you should have abandoned or outgrown years ago? Have you braved a spreadsheet or a sheet of paper and a calculator to find out the truth? Do you tell yourself lies about money? Money is merely a symbol, to which we ascribe great power. There is no inherent value to the paper, or set of electronically conveyed numbers.

Are you afraid that earning, or desiring to earn a certain amount, makes you greedy? Greed is about self-interest, exploitation, and entitlement. Is that really what you or your business are about? Does having a need make it easier to feel less greedy?

Do you believe that money equals love? There’s certainly a Los Angeles myth that money can buy love, and it may indeed buy a semblance of love, or a better quality of indifference. If a man doesn’t pay for you, does that mean he doesn’t love you? If a client has to pay for your services, does that mean you don’t love them? If someone defaults on a debt that is owed you, is it a matter of love or money? Because there’s money involved, does that mean there’s no love of self or the service? Does putting a price on it increase or lower the value of the transaction?

Is there ever enough? Can your desire for more be satisfied, or is it insatiable? How do you know when you’re satisfied? What would that look like?

What would you do differently if money didn’t factor into your decision-making?

Money is a boundary that you define every time you enter into a business transaction. Are you holding good boundaries, or do your boundaries need strengthening?

What does your attachment to money look like? If it is true that attachment is the root of all suffering (and we need only look at our families to see that this is true), how is your attachment to money affecting the level of joy in your life?

What does it mean to handle your money the way you handle it? Are you careless, precise, secretive, shame-based, overly generous, indecisive, enabling, compassionate, or fearful? If you don’t like the way you handle your money, you have an opportunity to change those dynamics. The way you handle your money is the way you handle your life. Make it profitable.

About the Author:

Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. is a health psychologist in West Los Angeles, who specializes in helping people with work/life balance issues, and thrive with chronic illness – their own or someone else’s. If you have questions for Dr. Gretchen or would like to learn more about her practice, please visit her website at www.drkubacky.com.

© 2010. This article was excerpted with permission from Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. at www.drkubacky.com. Permission to reprint is granted by the author. All reprints must state, “Reprinted with permission by Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. at www.drkubacky.com. Originally published in www.WomensOnlineMagazineLosAngeles.com, January 15, 2010.

DISCLAIMER: The information and opinions reflected in this article are solely those of the author and do not reflect on the publisher, editor, or editorial staff of Women’s Online Magazine. This article has been written and reviewed by the author. Any errors should be brought to the attention of the author.

If Big Pharma Isn’t the Enemy, What Is?

Jules Hirst — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 06:20:52 +0000

You’ve no doubt noticed the onslaught of pharmaceutical company sponsored advertising flooding television commercials and magazine inserts. You can hardly glance at the media without hearing about side effects such as 36-hour erections, loose, oily stools, nausea, cramping, bouts of mania, and unexplained bleeding. These same ads proclaim the medication’s benefits even more loudly – freedom from migraine headaches, depression, obesity, and erectile dysfunction. The message seems to be that there’s a pill to fix anything that ails you. Sometimes it seems like every kid you meet is on ADHD medication, and half your friends are on some form of anti-depressant – and it’s true that these medications are prescribed with far too much ease and far too little deep consideration. Yet on the other side, there’s a backlash from those who claim that the body is a self-regulating mechanism; that diet, supplements, and yoga can cure anything up to and including cancer; and that all drugs (prescription medications) are poisons that disrupt the system.

As a psychologist treating primarily patients who are dealing with a chronic or acute illness or medical condition, my interest in pharmaceuticals relates to both the psychotropics (medications used to treat mental conditions) as well as the medications prescribed by my patient’s physicians to address the physical symptoms of their conditions. Very few of us actually want to be on medication, but there’s a special stigma still associated with the medications we use to treat our brains. People report feeling weak, broken, damaged, crazy, and worse when it’s suggested that psychotropic medication might be helpful in addressing their depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, or other condition.

The truth is that the mind and body are inseparable, and many mental disorders have a biological base – there is literally a chemical imbalance in the brain, and it can be helped with medication. Just like insulin helps the diabetic, or synthetic thyroid replaces thyroid hormone for someone with hypothyroidism, medications that enhance neurotransmitter functioning can fill in the gaps in brain functioning. Non-pharmaceutical approaches such as nutrition, supplements, and mindfulness meditation practices can be useful, but are often not inadequate, or work too slowly. They require dedication and persistence to work, and many patients suffering from a period of depression or facing significant stressors may not have enough time to implement these methods.

My perspective is that medication can serve as a support for the brain while you’re learning better coping skills, allowing the brain to rebalance, and getting relief from your worst symptoms. Yet we continue to demonize Big Pharma as money-grubbing, disrespectful of natural processes, and potentially harmful when it is true that even natural substances can be harmful or fatal – to the patient who is allergic to peanuts, a taste of peanut butter may be far more harmful than a large dose of a medication, and in fact, it’s medication that may save that person’s life.

Similarly, with pain, the old way of thinking is that you should suck it up, suffer, power through – anything but take painkillers. As it turns out, your body heals faster, your anxiety is lower, and there’s a lower incidence of depression when patients take painkillers as prescribed. For a limited time and a specific use, doesn’t it seem reasonable to use every tool at your disposal? I want my patients to feel better sooner rather than later, so we often have discussions about their ideas about taking medication, whether it’s for a medical or psychological condition. If you automatically reject the idea of medication, especially the psychotropic medications, I invite you to examine your attitudes to see if they’re outdated, impractical, self-destructive, or just flat-out wrong. As always, I advocate taking a proactive stance as a patient, whether that’s in your doctor’s office or the psychotherapist’s consultation room. Perhaps you’ll find that the enemy of wellness lies more within your own mind than in the face of Big Pharma.

About the Author:

Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. is a health psychologist in West Los Angeles, who specializes in counseling for work/life balance issues, and women’s health issues. If you have questions for Dr. Gretchen or would like to learn more about her practice, please visit her website at www.drkubacky.com.

© 2009. This article was excerpted with permission from Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. at www.drkubacky.com. Permission to reprint is granted by the author. All reprints must state, “Reprinted with permission by Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. at www.drkubacky.com. Originally published in www.WomensOnlineMagazineLosAngeles.com, November 15, 2009.

Healthy Coping Begins With You

Jules Hirst — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 06:21:26 +0000

It seems like the old saying, when it rains, it pours, has never been more true. Life in 2009 certainly throws plenty our way. Healthy coping is defined as an ability to deal effectively with the stressors that life presents. When you forget to pay the phone bill on time, there’s a last-minute call for cupcakes for your child’s class party, and you realize there’s a giant grease stain on the dress you were going to wear to tomorrow night’s event, your coping skills get called into play. Your resources are even more taxed when the stressors are greater, such as a death in the family, diagnosis of illness, or a job loss.

Dealing effectively doesn’t necessarily mean getting what you want; it means achieving a workable solution, and having adequate acceptance of and knowledge about a situation to make good decisions. In order to cope, utilize the following skills and techniques:

Prepare for stressors in advance - by keeping a well-organized calendar, setting requirements for the other people in your life (including children) to keep you informed of events that affect you, and making a concerted effort to build in adequate space and time in your daily schedule, you’ll be able to more easily incorporate the surprises with grace.

Set realistic goals – If your errand list always has 12 items on it, and you routinely only complete six of them, it’s time to reconsider your goals. Routinely setting goals that exceed your ability to meet them results in disappointment, frustration, anger, and sometimes worse, especially in the job setting.

Learn new skills – You may be great at setting up a spreadsheet, and lousy at getting dinner on the table five nights a week. Take a cooking class, or get the more talented individuals in your life to take over the task. Or perhaps you are good at standing up to clients who demand too much, and not so good at standing up to your in-laws. Take an assertiveness training class. Almost any problem you have managing your life has an expert who is willing to train you in how to improve your effectiveness.

Work on building supportive relationships – Women are relational, and operate best within a web of support. If you’ve been neglecting your friendship, give them some immediate attention. Strengthening relationships now gives you a place to turn later, if you need it. Besides, you’ll have a lot more fun along the way!

Seek help – Whether it be professional therapy, time with a yoga teacher, membership in a support group, or a return to a spiritual practice, seek help. The advice and wisdom of others is invaluable in supporting your decision-making process. Decisions feel better when they’re backed-up with the experience of others.

Maintain an optimistic outlook - Studies repeatedly show that those who maintain an optimistic outlook have a higher perceived rate of life satisfaction. Maintaining optimism means keeping your eyes open for opportunities, positive moments, and the hidden benefits of what’s stressing you out. Whether it’s perception or reality, the bottom line is, you feel better when you stay positive.

Practice acceptance – Finally, note that acceptance is different from giving up. Acceptance is understanding the challenges, knowing the downsides, and also knowing that you have done your best by calling on your support system and your internal strength.

By anticipating challenges, you can be better prepared to handle them. With these skills in place, you will be able to handle most of life’s stressors with grace, and perhaps a little humor.

About the Author:
Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. is a health psychologist in West Los Angeles, who specializes in counseling on work/life balance issues, and women’s health issues. If you have questions for Dr. Gretchen or would like to learn more about her practice, please visit her website at www.drkubacky.com.

DISCLAIMER: The information and opinions reflected in this article are solely those of the author and do not reflect on the publisher, editor, or editorial staff of Women’s Online Magazine Los Angeles. This article has been written and reviewed by the author. Any errors should be brought to the attention of the author.

Ten Ways to Improve Your Sleep Tonight

Jules Hirst — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 03:26:32 +0000

If you sleep well, and you sleep enough, you probably don’t think about your sleep much at all. But if, like millions of women, you have trouble falling sleep, staying asleep, or don’t awaken feeling refreshed, sleep is probably a topic that’s very much on your mind. Exhaustion from poor sleep or inadequate sleep leads to decreased productivity, decreased fertility, increased illness, increased irritability, and problems in your interpersonal relationships. There are many actions you can take to improve your sleep, however, including:

1. Exercise – Do it Right and Do it Regularly – Most importantly, do it in the morning. Thirty minutes per day, every day, helps ensure that you can fall asleep easily. Don’t exercise too close to bedtime or it may keep you awake. A little light stretching or yoga is okay to do right before bed.

2. Caffeine – Give it a Break Early in the Day – You may be more sensitive to caffeine than you realize, or be consuming more than you realize. Black tea, green tea, hot chocolate, chocolate you snack on, and even sodas like Mountain Dew contain caffeine. Try stopping by 3:00 p.m;. if your sleep doesn’t improve, scale that back to noon. In extreme cases, 10:00 a.m. might be your cutoff – or you might have to cut it out altogether.

3. Stop Working NOW – Turn the computer off, put the spreadsheets away, and file the trade papers at least two hours before your scheduled bedtime. This allows your brain to slow down from its usual intense processing and problem-solving mode.

4. Have a Ritual – Children do best with a consistent nightly routine, and so do we. Go to sleep each night at the same time, and wake up each day at the same time, even if you have an opportunity to sleep in. Take a bath, give your cat five minutes of quality time, lay out your clothes for the next day – anything that doesn’t take too much mental energy and can, over time, become the start of your nightly winding down period.

5. Add Relaxation – Watch some mindless television, read fashion magazines or catalogs, doodle in a notebook, or stare vacantly into space for a while before bed. It helps to define a specific timeframe for the transition out of work, and into leisure (and then to sleep). Your body will learn to respond in a positively Pavlovian way when your start your nightly ritual.

6. Do a Brain Dump – If you are plagued by anxiety, and have a hard time turning your brain off at night, do a brain dump – get out a cheap notebook and spew until your mind feels empty. Proceed with Step #4.

7. Snack Right – Nighttime low blood sugar is a frequent cause of waking. Avoid sugars before bed, which will peak and then fall rapidly. Instead, have a high protein snack, which provides the L-tryptophan necessary for production of melatonin and serotonin. Also, avoid foods you may be sensitive to, such as wheat or dairy, which may cause nausea, gas, or congestion.

8. Exercise Temperature Control – Make sure the temperature in your bedroom is comfortable. Low temperatures (under 70F) are often recommended, but a slightly warm room may make you feel sleepier. Experiment until you find what works for you.

9. Embrace the Darkness – Even the slightest light leaks can disrupt your sleep, so make sure your room is as dark as possible. Invest in inexpensive blackout shades or curtains if necessary. And, if you need to get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, don’t turn any lights on.

10. Check Your Hormones – Finally, if none of the above works (along with the standard advice about caffeine, a stable routine, etc.), get your hormones checked by your gynecologist or natural health practitioner. You may be experiencing sleep disruption related to peri-menopause or menopause.

About the Author:

Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist in West Los Angeles, who specializes in counseling you through your health challenges, work/life balance issues, and relationship issues. If you have questions for Dr. Gretchen or would like to learn more about her practice, please visit her website at www.drkubacky.com.

© 2009. This article was excerpted with permission from Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. at www.drkubacky.com. Permission to reprint is granted by the author. All reprints must state, “Reprinted with permission by Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. at http://www.drkubacky.com. Originally published in www.WomensOnlineMagazineLosAngeles.com, June 2009.

Vacation or “Stay-cation” – We All Need Mental Health Days: How to Take One or More, Even if You Think You Can’t Afford It

Jules Hirst — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 17:57:28 +0000

Alarm at 5:00 a.m., gym at 5:30 a.m., shower at 6:30, kids to school at 7:30, hit the freeway by 8:00 a.m. It probably seems like everything’s on a schedule, from your work hours, to school, to gym time, even time to hang out with your spouse or partner. Even picking up the dry cleaning has to be plugged in to your smart phone calendar, just to make sure it doesn’t get overlooked. And in Los Angeles, traffic always threatens to destroy your carefully established scheduled. Pressures mount as deadlines near, and anxiety builds when you actually do miss them. You can feel the stress almost coming out of your pores.

The mind needs rest. The body needs rest. The soul needs rest. Vacation, in other words. A time away from the busy cares of your day-to-day life, the extreme schedules, the hubbub of city life, the noise and chaos that accompanies living in close quarters with your fellow human beings. Who doesn’t go to work on a Monday and sometimes wish it was still Sunday? And if you’re an entrepreneur, or have a home office, or have a child in the mix, your work is really 24 hours a day, seven days a week. It may seem like there’s never any time for yourself or anyone else.

As we enter the fourth and final quarter of the year, if you haven’t already taken a summer vacation, it’s time to take a little break, change environments, and rest and reinvigorate with exposure to nature, new sights, and new people. If you’re thinking that sounds nice, but also thinking you can’t afford it right now, think again. The cost of illness is high, and illness results from unremitting stress. Chronic pressure and strain are wearing to the brain, heart, blood vessels, and gut. Without a break, your body will create a break by becoming sick or broken. If you want to avoid those tension headaches or migraines, stomach flus, and small injuries, it’s time to listen to your body and its innate wisdom.

If you can afford to take an extended out-of-town vacation, the change of scenery will provide you with new mental challenges, relieve you of some of the constant stressors in your life (it’s hard to clean out the garage when you’re nowhere near the garage), shift your perspective, and refresh your creativity and enthusiasm for your loved ones and your work.

Carving out time for yourself, a “stay-cation,” can be just as effective as heading for the beach in Mexico or touring through Europe. How to make it work though? Like any vacation, it requires advance planning. Clear your schedule of all routine obligations. Stop the mail and the newspaper. Put up automated absence messages on all your e-mails, and on your outgoing voicemail. Do not fill up your schedule with doctor’s appointments, car repairs, or housework. Do a little research on your town and visit the top ten tourist attractions; chances are, if you live there, you’ve never bothered to visit. Plan a special restaurant meal to mark the commencement of your vacation. Sleep in. Wake up without an alarm. Have a day without a plan. Spend time in nature. Take advantage of the last bit of summer-like weather and visit a public pool or beach during the week when it’s not crowded. Take off your wristwatch and leave it at home.

Enjoy the feeling of relief you have given yourself.

About the Author:

Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. is a health psychologist in West Los Angeles, who specializes in counseling you through your health challenges with grace and humor, especially endocrine disorders such as infertility, PCOS, and type II diabetes. If you have questions for Dr. Gretchen or would like to learn more about her practice, please visit her website at www.drkubacky.com.

© 2009. This article was excerpted with permission from Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. at www.drkubacky.com. Permission to reprint is granted by the author. All reprints must state, “Reprinted with permission by Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. at www.drkubacky.com. Originally published in www.WomensOnlineMagazineLosAngeles.com, June 2009.

Some Surprising Signs That You Might Have an Eating Disorder

Jules Hirst — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 05:25:41 +0000

When most women hear the words “eating disorder,” they think of a bony anorexic, a young teenage girl, who over-diets her way to extreme skinniness. Or perhaps a bulimic, who binges and purgse by forcing herself to throw up. Or maybe you even say (only half-jokingly), “wish I could have just a touch of that!” But there are many forms of eating disorders and they’re all dangerous. Eating disorders can damage or destroy your esophagus, teeth, metabolism, bowel function, fertility, skin/hair/nails, relationships, mental and social functioning, and even your life. And a lot of times, they don’t even make you skinny – a lot of risk for not a lot of payoff. Before you think you don’t fit into this category, consider the following eating disordered behaviors, in addition to the classic forms of severe calorie restriction and purging:

Binge Eating Disorder – this one’s often a precursor to full-scale bulimia, but basically involves ingesting enormous quantities of food in a short period of time, typically high fat/high carbohydrate combinations that trigger happy feelings in the brain while, at the same time, stimulating ever more craving. Without the balancing effect of purging, significant weight gain may result, which often contributes to the development or exacerbation of mood disorders (anxiety and depression), decreased self-esteem, and other self-injurious behaviors.

Exercise Bulimia – you love the gym, you are a super-consistent exerciser, you’re proud of doing something that’s good for you (hey, not everyone can do 90 minutes on the stair machine!), you HAVE to go the gym, or else…you get irritable, anxious, nervous, critical, and start obsessing about how to fit in some alternate exercise time. If you routinely spend more than an average of about 1 – 1.5 hours/day exercising, this may be an issue for you. Or, if you go ahead and eat that scone with your non-fat latte, but then make a point of exercising it off, down to the calorie, as soon as you can, this may point to a problem. Unless you’re a professional athlete or competitive hobbyist in training, or on a medically supervised weight loss program, about an hour a day at moderate intensity, six days a week, is a healthy limit.

Excessive Tracking – with all the really cool apps for your iPhone, and internet programs like Daily Plate, it’s easier than ever to keep a food diary, with calculations down to the last calorie, nutritional breakdowns, etc. But how much time do you spend inputting data, analyzing the results, and tweaking your next bite as a result? Instead of being conscientious, you may be exhibiting eating disordered traits.

Food Restriction – by color, shape, size, type, etc. – it’s normal to favor some foods, and dislike others, even intensely. But when you eat only fruit, or eliminate all orange foods, or require that vegetables be cubed into measurable perfection, again, you may be looking at a problem rather than a preference.

Being a Champion Dieter – you may not be losing any weight because you’ve become so skilled at calorie restriction from all those years of dieting that your metabolism has slowed to a crawl. Active, average-height, healthy women require a substantial daily input of calories in order to remain health, or even to lose weight. Routinely consuming less than 1,500 calories/day may well impair your ability to lose weight, slow down mental functioning, and leave you too weak to exercise. Some women require as many as 2,000 – 2,500 calories/day in order to actually start losing weight! Do yourself a favor, check your actual daily consumption, check in with your doctor or nutritionist, and see if you might not be better off consuming more instead of less. Furthermore, it is not normal to be on a diet every single day of your life, regardless of your weight. Our bodies require rest, nurturing, healthy input, and balance – the antithesis of many popular diets. What you learned about weight management as a teenager may not be working for your mature body now.

The psychological issues underlying most eating disorders are complex and best treated by a licensed mental health professional with training in eating disorders or women’s health issues. If anything described above sets off your alarm bells – about you or a friend or family member – change your behavior. If you can’t do it alone, get help. Your body and your relationships will become healthier, if properly nourished.

About the Author:

Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. is a health psychologist in West Los Angeles, who specializes in counseling you through your health challenges with grace and humor, especially endocrine disorders such as infertility, PCOS, and type II diabetes. If you have questions for Dr. Gretchen or would like to learn more about her practice, please visit her website at www.drkubacky.com.

© 2009. This article was excerpted with permission from Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. at www.drkubacky.com. Permission to reprint is granted by the author. All reprints must state, “Reprinted with permission by Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. at www.drkubacky.com. Originally published in www.WomensOnlineMagazineLosAngeles.com, June 2009.

Mind/Body – What To Do When Your Body Won’t Mind!

Jules Hirst — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 03:46:25 +0000

You’ve been on a diet forever, but can’t seem to lose weight. Everyone’s telling you to “just relax,” but you can’t seem to stop your mind from racing or your migraines from coming on frequently. You take all the right pills and supplements, but your body just feels out of whack. It can be so frustrating when you do all the right things – get your annual mammogram and Pap smear, take fish oil, stay out of the sun, eat organic food – and your body still isn’t functioning normally or optimally. The good news is, even when it seems like your body just won’t mind your wishes, there are relatively simple and inexpensive things you can do on your own to support yourself in your journey to health.

If you’ve been dealing with a health problem or vague physical imbalance for a while, you may have tried alternative medicine or holistic health practices. Here are some you should consider:

Acupuncture is an ancient healing art, part of the system of Traditional Oriental Medicine. It has been used successfully for thousands of years to enhance health and rebalance the system; you may even find that your physician is able to offer you a referral. Acupuncture is nearly painless – in spite of the needles – and works in conjunction with your traditional treatments. Many acupuncturists also offer nutritional support. Los Angeles has several acupuncture schools, and their student clinics offer carefully supervised sessions for as little as $20/treatment.

Nutrition – Decreasing or eliminating caffeine, refined sugar, and refined flour will give your body a rest, reduce stress on your digestive system, enhance your immunity, and make your body optimally healthy. If that feels overwhelming, start today with a small change, like switching out regular coffee for decaf, or trading in a soda for some iced herbal tea. Your nerves will thank you too.

Yoga is said to massage and “tonify” the internal organs, thereby leading to increased health. The slower-paced forms of yoga, such as hatha yoga, or yin yoga, are relaxing practices. But in my opinion, the best thing about yoga is that it helps you love and accept your body, precisely where it is today – not where you hope it will be. If you’re daunted by those fancy yoga studios, head on over to your nearest YMCA or other gym for some great introductory classes.

Meditation can be as simple as closing your eyes and focusing on the sound of your own breath for just five minutes. It can also be a complex and evolving process, if you choose to expand your practice. Regulating your breathing, clearing your mind, and giving yourself time for introspection are all benefits of meditation. If you want more information, do a search for the terms “meditation” or “the relaxation response.”

Optimizing health is an activity in which you, the patient, play a very active role. Start right now to become a proactive patient and health consumer.

About the Author:

Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. is a health psychologist in West Los Angeles, who specializes in counseling you through your health challenges with grace and humor, especially endocrine disorders such as infertility, PCOS, and type II diabetes. If you have questions for Dr. Gretchen or would like to learn more about her practice, please visit her website at http://www.drkubacky.com..

© 2009. This article was excerpted with permission from Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. at http://www.drkubacky.com.. Permission to reprint is granted by the author. All reprints must state, “Reprinted with permission by Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. at http://www.drkubacky.com. Originally published in http://www.WomensOnlineMagazineLosAngeles.com,, June 2009.

When Feeling Crazy, It Means You’re Sane

Jules Hirst — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 03:07:39 +0000

The cat threw up on the carpet, the kids are crying, your boss is calling you at home on a Sunday, for some mysterious reason you’ve gained five pounds overnight, there’s nothing to eat but popcorn and questionable looking deviled eggs, and you’re kind of wishing that aliens would swoop out of the sky and abduct you. Your “notes to self” run something like: give children away; change home phone number (better yet, cancel all phone service); find out whether Prozac is now available over the counter; figure out appropriate justification for eating nothing but carbohydrates; and research that alien abduction thing so you can position yourself appropriately next time they come around. An extreme snapshot of a day in hell, or daily life for the average multi-tasker?

If you’re like most women, some or all of the above has passed through your head at one time or another, and you’ve probably wondered if you were going crazy. Well, the good news is that, while there’s chaos and insanity all around you, and even sometimes inside of you, it does not mean you’re crazy. Quite the contrary, in fact. Feelings of “insanity,” “losing it,” and “going off the deep end” are actually your body’s natural resources coming to the rescue, and telling you that you’re living in a crazy world. The harder you try to get in synch with that world, the likelier you are to feel crazy yourself.

What’s the solution to feeling like the world’s cracking up, and you’re cracking right along with it? First, listen to what your mind and body are telling you, and take it seriously. You are the expert on your own well-being and your unconscious will reveal everything you need to know, if you slow down for just a few minutes and let it talk to you. Second, banish all unnecessary tasks from your to-do list, and simplify those that remain. Do you really need to make a homemade meal tonight, or will ordering in suffice? Can you refuse to return work-related calls on Sundays? And maybe you don’t need so many fuzzy area rugs that the cat can throw up on. In other words, reduce your visual clutter as well as your mental clutter, and you will find that the feelings of craziness begin to reduce along with your task list.

Although it would be nice to have assistance from others, the road to feeling sane and centered begins with you. You have the power to say “NO” and the ability to decide what you really want to do, even when the demands placed upon you are extreme. Remember that nothing extreme is ever healthy. That includes your mental health, where small changes can produce big results.

About the Author:
Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. is a health psychologist in West Los Angeles, who specializes in counseling you through your health challenges with grace and humor, especially endocrine disorders such as infertility, PCOS, and type II diabetes. If you have questions for Dr. Gretchen or would like to learn more about her practice, please visit her website at www.drkubacky.com.

Active Relaxation: Slow is Better

Jules Hirst — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 03:02:24 +0000

The term “active relaxation” probably sounds like an oxymoron – you’re thinking, “but isn’t relaxation supposed to be about doing nothing?” or, “If I’m being active, then I’m not relaxing – right!?” But active relaxation is a concept, a choice, and a practice that leads to stress relief in a way that lounging in front of the television can never do. Decades ago, relaxation meant sitting on the front porch with your family, chatting with the neighbors, or kicking back on the couch and reading a good book. All of these activities were human-paced, not machine-paced. We are living in a time when fax machines are already obsolete, and e-mail is “so 1999,” according to social media expert Lorrie Thomas. Every spare moment is filled with checking out the latest business and personal tidbits via your smart phone, or sending out tweets – little time-fillers that contribute to a sense of being rushed, frantic, and always needing to be productive.

Active relaxation is consistent with the idea of being productive, yet counter to it. What do I mean by active relaxation? I mean, choosing activities that contribute to a deep sense of well-being, centeredness, calm, and good health. Yoga, meditation, listening to relaxing music, a lengthy solo walk, or actively connecting with someone you care about in person, without the distraction of your cell phone. And these activities need to be a priority in your life – yes, they even need to be scheduled! What happens when you choose leisure over productivity? The shift in activity, from hyper-social and seemingly ultra-connected, back to the limitations of the moment, will shock and surprise your brain in a way that rewires it over time. Remember, the human brain evolves much more slowly than technology. And just because we have access to warp-speed communications does not mean that we need to be engaged in them 100% of the time. The brain craves novelty, and responds well to it – and nowadays, that novelty is going to come from periodic engagement in slow, concentrated activities. Although the brain has infinite capacities, in this case, slow is better. Sounds scary setting aside all of the devices and activities we’re addicted to, to just be with ourselves or one another? Start small, start slow, and experiment with what feels comfortable to you. As little as five minutes per day of simply turning off the phone, closing your eyes, and paying attention to your breath will begin to re-attune your mind to its healthy natural rhythms.

About the Author: Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. is a health psychologist in West Los Angeles, who specializes in counseling you through your health challenges with grace and humor, especially endocrine disorders such as infertility, PCOS, and type II diabetes. If you have questions for Dr. Gretchen or would like to learn more about her practice, please visit her website at www.drkubacky.com.