The appearance of your business card says as much about you as your physical appearance.  As the tangible evidence of your meeting, it should reflect your style, grace and class.  You should never pass out a business card that looks “used” – torn, folded, frayed corners.  A business card case should be mandatory.  It doesn’t have to be a fancy sterling version from Tiffany’s.  You need something to keep your cards clean and prevent folding and fraying.    

Another business card no-no is to distribute outdated cards.  If your cards contain outdated information, do not pass them out.  Crossing out information and writing the correction is sloppy.  Business cards are cheap.  When your information changes, buy new cards.  If your company is too cheap to buy them, purchase them yourself.  Remember the cards are not only a representation of the company but also of you — make yourself stand out.

Follow the one card per person rule of thumb when passing out business cards.  It is acceptable to give more if asked, however, you look like you want that person to help you market yourself if you hand over more than one.

While networking, you would not want people to blow you off.  It is the same with business cards.  Do not hastily put a received card in your pocket or stuff it in your wallet.  This is a sign of disrespect.  Take a moment to review the card and use the information provided as another source of conversation.  It will show the other person that you care.  After the conversation it is acceptable to put the card in your pocket, but you should refrain from writing notes on it until later.

It is acceptable to request a business card, unless that person is in a higher position than you.  In this situation, you must wait for the other person to offer you a card.  If they want you to have one, they will offer you one.

For international business people, it is a good idea to have your information translated into the native language on the other side of your card.  Do not assume that everyone speaks English and having the additional version shows you are thoughtful and prepared.

It’s hard to believe that in today’s technologically advanced world that a 3” x 2.5” piece of card stock can have such a big influence on your business.  Yes, your business card says a great deal about you and is a lasting impression a person has of their meeting with you.  Make it count.

About the Author:
Jules Hirst is an etiquette instructor and co-author of The Power of Civility and believes it is never too late to make a lasting impression.  She teaches classes for children, teens and adults.  She is President of For A Jul Productions, a wedding and event planning company.  Learn more at www.Forajulproductions.com.  She also is head of Hearts For The City, a non-profit organization teaching etiquette and social skills to underprivileged children, foster children and people re-entering the workforce.

© 2009. This article was excerpted with permission from Jules Hirst.  Permission to reprint is granted by the author. All reprints must state, “Reprinted with permission by Jules Hirst from www.For A Jul Productions.com.   Originally published in www.WomensOnlineMagazine.com, June 2009.

DISCLAIMER: The information and opinions reflected in this article are solely those of the author and do not reflect on the publisher, editor, or editorial staff of Women’s Online Magazine Los Angeles. This article has been written and reviewed by the author. Any errors should be brought to the attention of the author.

When dining out, it is common to tip the waiter between 15 to 20%.  You should base your tip on the level of service you received not on the quality of the food – odds are the waiter is not doubling as the chef.  If you received excellent service, you should tip 20% or more.  If the service was wanting, you can tip 15% or less.  It is important to remember that the waiter does not pocket your entire tip.  The tip must be shared among the busboys, the bartender, the hostess and the runners. 

The next time you want to punish a waiter by leaving a small tip, remember that others will suffer as well. There is a discretionary aspect to tipping.  When deciding whether or not to tip, I like to ask myself if I could have performed the service.  For example, I am perplexed by the idea of tipping a hotel doorman for hailing me a taxi.  Most hotels have a line of cabs waiting to pick up their guests and the doorman just waves one forward.  I can do this myself, but tipping etiquette says I should tip the doorman $1 – $2 for this service.  If there are no taxis available and the doorman makes one appear, I’ll tip otherwise I abstain.    

  Tipping etiquette also says that you should tip the valet when you drop off your car AND when you pick it up?  If you are driving a Ferrari, you probably do this so the valet will be extra careful with your car, but the average person will tip upon pickup and the common guideline is $1 to $2. Other common guidelines include:  

• Bartender – 15% of bill or $1 per drink, whichever is greater
• Cocktail Waitress – 15% of bill or $1 per drink, whichever is greater
• Coat Check Attendant — $1 per coat
• Restroom Attendant — $1
• Hotel Maid — $2 to $5 per night depending on the quality of the establishment
• Hotel Bellman — $1 to $2 per bag
• Hotel Concierge — $5 to $10 for securing your reservation
• Skycap – $1 per bag

Do not let tipping stress you out.  Follow the common guidelines and mix in a little common sense and you will have the recipe for success.

About the Author:
Jules Hirst is an etiquette instructor and co-author of The Power of Civility and believes it is never too late to make a lasting impression. She teaches classes for children, teens and adults. She is President of For A Jul Productions, a wedding and event planning company. Learn more at www.Forajulproductions.com. She also is head of Hearts For The City, a non-profit organization teaching etiquette and social skills to underprivileged children, foster children and people re-entering the workforce.

© 2009. This article was excerpted with permission from Jules Hirst. Permission to reprint is granted by the author. All reprints must state, “Reprinted with permission by Jules Hirst from www.For A Jul Productions.com.   Originally published in www.WomensOnlineMagazine.com, January 2009.

DISCLAIMER: The information and opinions reflected in this article are solely those of the author and do not reflect on the publisher, editor, or editorial staff of Women’s Online Magazine Los Angeles. This article has been written and reviewed by the author. Any errors should be brought to the attention of the author.

In his epic poem Paradise Lost, John Milton tells the story of the fall of man and how Adam and Eve were kicked out of the Garden of Eden.  Today, we are facing a similar crisis in that civility has been lost. We live in a society that no longer has respect for one another.  This was blatantly obvious in the past weeks when there were three high profile examples of a lack of civility.

During her semifinal match at the US Open, Serena Williams had a meltdown.  While facing match point (a very pressure packed situation), a linesperson called Serena for a foot fault during her serve.  Serena went berserk and threatened the linesperson in an expletive filled tirade. 

At the MTV Music Video Awards, Kanye West interrupted Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech for the Best Female Video award to voice his opinion on the results.  West said, “I’m sorry, but Beyoncé had one of the best videos of all time.”  Not only did he interrupt an awards show, it was not the first time he had a tirade during an event.  He also went off during the 2004 American Music Awards and the 2007 Video Music Awards. 

As a member of Congress, Rep. Joe Wilson, R-South Carolina, has a hand in the operation and direction is a decision maker in the running of our country.  Rep. Wilson displayed a lack of civility when he shouted, “You lie,” during President Obama’s speech on health care reform. 

What do an athlete, an entertainer and a politician all have in common?  Unfortunately, it’s not a bad joke.  Besides a lack of civility, they are all role models.  As such, they have an obligation to act appropriately.  However, we cannot cast all the blame for society’s troubles on these three.  We also have to look at parents.  It is the parent’s job to raise their children.  To teach them right from wrong.  This is now being done more through television than by the parents themselves.

After eating from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, Adam and Eve were kicked out of the Garden of Eden because they did not respect God’s only rule.  It is said that history repeats itself.  To prevent us from falling further, we need to reemphasize the importance of manners and respect and make sure that current and future generations are able to live together in a civilized society. 

About the Author:
Jules Hirst is an etiquette instructor and co-author of The Power of Civility and believes it is never too late to make a lasting impression. She teaches classes for children, teens and adults. She is President of For A Jul Productions, a wedding and event planning company. Learn more at www.Forajulproductions.com. She also is head of Hearts For The City, a non-profit organization teaching etiquette and social skills to underprivileged children, foster children and people re-entering the workforce.

© 2009. This article was excerpted with permission from Jules Hirst. Permission to reprint is granted by the author. All reprints must state, “Reprinted with permission by Jules Hirst from www.For A Jul Productions.com.”>www.WomensOnlineMagazinelosangeles.com, September 2009.

DISCLAIMER: The information and opinions reflected in this article are solely those of the author and do not reflect on the publisher, editor, or editorial staff of Women’s Online Magazine. This article has been written and reviewed by the author. Any errors should be brought to the attention of the author.

Small talk is the ice breaker that provides a starting point for a bond to form. To be successful at small talk, it is important to overcome three basic barriers:

•  Shyness
•  Having something to talk about
•  Initiating a conversation

We all have experienced shyness at some point in our lives – you’re not the only one. One way to overcome this is through active listening. By focusing on what others are saying, you are not worrying about your own discomfort. Keep them engaged through eye contact, asking questions and adding your own personal experiences. This will build a rapport – developing trust and liking – which can lead to people thinking of you positively.

To be a success at small talk, you need to have something to talk about. Most people are not thrown into these situations. They know about them ahead of time and that provides you with the opportunity to prepare. Before going into the event, you should have a list of topics to talk about along with questions to ask. The topics can be as simple as everyday topics (news, sports, weather, current events, culture) to topics relating to the event. You need to be versed on your topics so you will be able to respond. It takes two to have a conversation, so if you cannot respond you’re back to awkward silence.

Now that you can overcome your shyness and have something to talk about, initiating a conversation is as simple as asking a question or making an open-ended comment. Remember that most people love talking, especially about themselves, so you just need to give them a push to get them going. When you come upon people already engaged in a conversation, do not butt in. It’s rude and you do not want to be remembered for making an ill advised comment. Your best approach is to listen, observe and then speak.

Other keys to successful small talk are your posture. Good posture reflects confidence. People are uncomfortable talking with someone who appears nervous or is fidgeting, so keep good posture. Eye contact is also important. Wandering eyes make people think you are not interested in them. Finally, after all this work to start the conversation, you need to be able to exit the conversation gracefully. You do not want to tell people your life story….keep them wanting more.

Successful small talk can influence how others perceive you. People tend to consider good conversationalists as more intelligent and confident than others. This is how you want to be remembered.

About the Author:
Jules Hirst is an etiquette instructor and co-author of The Power of Civility and believes it is never too late to make a lasting impression. She teaches classes for children, teens and adults. She is President of For A Jul Productions, a wedding and event planning company. Learn more at www.Forajulproductions.com. She also is head of Hearts For The City, a non-profit organization teaching etiquette and social skills to underprivileged children, foster children and people re-entering the workforce.

© 2009. This article was excerpted with permission from Jules Hirst. Permission to reprint is granted by the author. All reprints must state, “Reprinted with permission by Jules Hirst from www.For A Jul Productions.com. Originally published in www.WomensOnlineMagazinelosangeles.com,  September 2009.

DISCLAIMER: The information and opinions reflected in this article are solely those of the author and do not reflect on the publisher, editor, or editorial staff of Women’s Online Magazine. This article has been written and reviewed by the author. Any errors should be brought to the attention of the author.

Success often boils down to who you know instead of what you know.  In business, who you know are the contacts you make during your career and these contacts can be made in various ways.  Whether it is at an interview, a business meeting, a networking function or even the supermarket checkout lane, the introduction creates a lasting impression with the contact that can help open doors for you.

 Proper business etiquette for an introduction is made up of four fundamental skills.

·         Standing up

·         Smiling

·         Eye contact

·         Firm handshake

When meeting someone it is important to stand up.  Rising from the conference table, your desk or the table at the restaurant shows that you respect the other person and puts you on “equal footing” for the beginning of your relationship.

Remember that the introduction is the first impression the other person has of you, so you should always be smiling.  Smiling presents a positive image and attitude and failing to smile can lead the other person to think you are uninterested in them.

Eye contact is another key component of the introduction.  By making eye contact, you are focused on the other person and show them that you are interested.

A firm handshake is essential to a positive introduction.  It shows you are professional and confident.  To perform a proper handshake, you should fit your hand into theirs to where the webbing between your thumb and forefinger meet.  Squeeze firmly and shake once or twice.  If you have clammy hands, it is ok to sneak in a quick wipe to dry your hand before the handshake  – no one likes shaking a moist hand.  You do not want your handshake to be too firm, demonstrates overconfidence, or too weak, demonstrates nervousness.

It is proper business etiquette to make your own introductions if no one is introducing you.  Do not be overly aggressive or too shy.  A good rule of thumb is to approach the person or group, hold out your hand, say hello and give your name, company and title.  This additional information will help break the ice and help jumpstart the conversation.

After being introduced, continue to use the person’s title (Mr., Dr., Professor, etc…) until that person says otherwise.  Most people struggle with remembering names, so by remembering it, you are showing that person how important they are.  Use whatever memory trick works for you to remember the person’s name and then, if necessary, write it down afterwards.  If you do forget a name, it is ok to ask them to repeat it, but be apologetic and make a better attempt to remember it the next time.

 When you are making the introductions, business etiquette says

·         The most powerful person should be introduced first.

·         Follow that with your clients, high level executives, or special guests.

·         Always use the person’s title when introducing them.

Following these steps will help all of your introductions turn out positively and as your business rolodex grows with contacts so will the opportunities for you to move up the corporate ladder or land your dream job.  Remember – it’s all about who you know.

About the Author:
Jules Hirst is an etiquette instructor and co-author of The Power of Civility and believes it is never too late to make a lasting impression. She teaches classes for children, teens and adults. She is President of For A Jul Productions, a wedding and event planning company. Learn more at www.Forajulproductions.com. She also is head of Hearts For The City, a non-profit organization teaching etiquette and social skills to underprivileged children, foster children and people re-entering the workforce.

© 2009. This article was excerpted with permission from Jules Hirst. Permission to reprint is granted by the author. All reprints must state, “Reprinted with permission by Jules Hirst from www.For A Jul Productions.com.

DISCLAIMER: The information and opinions reflected in this article are solely those of the author and do not reflect on the publisher, editor, or editorial staff of Women’s Online Magazine. This article has been written and reviewed by the author. Any errors should be brought to the attention of the author.