Has Cupid’s Arrow Missed its Mark

Oh yes, we love to hang onto the myth of Cupid’s arrow don’t we! We would love to abdicate responsibility for our choices, wouldn’t we – whether it be Cupid or Fate – we find excuses and reasons for our actions.

How often though do we ever wake up and realise that we are archers ourselves. At all times we are responsible for whether or not we fire the arrow. It may well be dear old ‘fate’ who brings us into the same hemisphere or pub, salsa evening or Sainsbury’s where we might meet someone, but rest assured, dear old fate is as likely to throw us a curved ball as he is a straight hit! And Cupid isn’t much better!

D’you know when you’ve made a straight hit? Well, it’s when you don’t have to make excuses for either your or someone else’s behaviour.

Lust – fired from Cupid’s arrow, and definitely outside your control (well isn’t it?) - is one of those feelings which sometimes makes you ‘someone else’ ! How often have you heard someone say things like ‘oh he’s not my type but something made me do it’, or ‘he was just too tasty to ignore’ – it’s the same as walking down the chocolate aisle in Tesco! Any excuse will do, won’t it!

It’s so easy to fall in love - but is it really? How many people fall in love with an ideal, with an expectation, with what they want to see and be and to happen?

These are the very people who get dis-satisfied with their relationship – a person isn’t living up to who and what they expected them to be. When push comes to shove it’s remarkable how a few weeks, months and in many instances years go by before one of the parties wakes up and says to themselves ‘Oi, what am I doing here’?

Now that’s not to say that there are many lust filled relationships which work wonderfully because there are. And yet, you’ll find that these are the people who are much more willing to accept the person as they are and they in turn will be accepted for who they are.

I don’t know if there’s any truth in opposites attracting or whether it’s better to be very similar to our partners for it to work. I do know though that shared values, shared visions and an ability to be ourselves is something which really works. The continuation of conversation over the weeks, months and years is key too.

For many people, Valentine’s Day is a day of reflection, and if you haven’t yet made it so, maybe this year is a good one to start.

Are you happy in your relationship? If not, for what reason aren’t you? If you are, how can you keep that up or even double it?

If you aren’t in a relationship, what’s stopping you? What is it about you that you need to come to terms with before you lump it onto the next man in your life?

Ladies, men are wonderful beings, they often deserve more than we give them credit for, and I for one would rather change myself than begin to attempt to change my partner to fit my ideal. I leave you that as food for thought as the only person you can change is you.

I wish you ‘A very happy Valentine’s Day’ – even if it’s treating yourself for the first time to what you feel you deserve – trust, respect, love, security and warmth. All things start with you!

Jackie Walker

DISCLAIMER: The information and opinions reflected in this article are solely those of the author and do not reflect on the publisher, editor, or editorial staff of Women’s Online Magazine. This article has been written and reviewed bythe author. Any errors should be brought to the attention of the author.

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